A little about us:
For Goodness Sake conducts primary research into topics that have traditionally been ignored. And we turn those insights into published scientific papers but also web resources to convey the findings through first-person storytelling.
We're currently studying and building resources about:
- Ways people re-find sexual pleasure and intimacy in lives with sexual assault/trauma/abuse. (this will be a free-to-access resource)
- Women's techniques with sex toys
- Ways pleasure changes with life stage and menopause.
- Ways of experiencing pleasure for women who have gone through FGM/FGC (this will be a free-to-access resource)
- Men's sexual pleasure
Since we introduced OMGYES.com, the response from women, men and couples around the world has been truly remarkable. We had apparently tapped into a strong, unmet need on the part of people everywhere to better understand their own sexual pleasure. The medium, sharing highly personal but also evidence-based information through relatable, personal videos, was important. But the response has really been to the message.
Apparently the simple process of “asking” women what’s most pleasurable for them, instead of “educating” them from inference, revealed previously unrecognized facts about sexual pleasure. There had long been a somewhat vague sense that there are individual differences between women. Our work was showing how striking those differences are but also that shared paths and patterns existed. In interview after interview, we began to hear about variety and diverse individual paths, multiple universes of pleasure response. We added language to describe these different paths, words to describe these individual preferences. This created clarity and allowed, for the first time, an opportunity for a woman to identify both her own particular patterns of responsiveness and to learn about other possibilities as well. This was clearly resonating within the OMGYES community. The information was simple, specific and much of it was brand new. We began to get feedback from all over the world, grateful and enthusiastic. New light was being shed on a subject that had existed largely in the unshared dark of the highly personal.
Far beyond simply getting well meaning support from an online community, women were able to think about and recognize and expand their own experience. They were sharing practical information with other women, and learning practical solutions to issues that had often existed only as vague ideas. A door was being opened that many didn’t know had been closed.
The importance of pleasure itself as a “legitimate” pursuit is to this day approached with a considerable degree of caution in much of society. As we began the OMGYES project, we were additionally aware that the issue of sexual pleasure in women has historically been a particularly uneasy one. Much had been written about the perceived threat to the social fabric should half the human race become freed up in their pursuit of sexual pleasure. Even the appropriateness of orgasm in a “good” woman was a subject of debate historically until fairly recently. We knew that an initiative to explore the topic could easily evoke resistance. What we hadn’t recognized was the extent to which the subject had been remained a vague secret in its totality. It wasn’t so much a book that was banned as one that it had largely been unwritten.
There has been some scientific curiosity about female sexual responsiveness. The medical literature, often couched in a disease/dysfunction model, had had relatively little to say, however, about female pleasure. The study of normal physiology, of respiration, digestion etc., has been a worthy subject for research. As has been the physiology of the reproductive system in males and females alike. But for a variety of reasons, the issue of specific ways of touching for pleasure, particularly female pleasure, has remained largely unexplored. Until now.
With the advantage of numbers, what worked for a particular person regarding their sexual pleasure can resonate with other, similar people. With that recognition came a way for each to think about herself, as unique in her own way but not alone.